Can We Be Real Here For A Moment?

Of course we can! From motherhood to husbands to mommydo-this,care-giver,nose and butt wiper. All those WONDERFUL things we just couldn’t wait to grow up to be (yes, you know you couldn’t too); WHAT THE #@$% WERE WE THINKING???? (Insert your favorite word of choice @ #@$%) I couldn’t wait to become a mom and a wife and be grown with these responsibilities. Let’s face it, every girl dreams of having her own little family one day while she plays with her dolls…which by the way do not cry and kick and scream! Real children have real issues. It’s a common misconception that it’s all fun and games to bring baby home and play house and all will be well. NEGATIVE!!! If only it was that easy and I’m sure someone out there had it that easy. But let’s be real here, children aren’t these little angels running around sneezing and pooping glitter everywhere. They are some seriously terrifying, disgusting at times, embarrass you, test your patience little assholes. Yep, that’s right! Crazy little people running around driving mommy insane. Most people think it’s all cute and you have someone to love you no matter what and all snuggles and bedtime stories. WHO ARE YOU RAISING???!!! Not at my house and many others. Yes the hugs come and so do the snuggles and kisses and stuff and its very much worth it. Motherhood is very rewarding but that’s another subject for another day when I’m having a better mommy- hasn’t- lost-her-shit-all-day kind of day.

I am the mother of an almost 4-year-old very strong-willed daughter. She is smart and passionate about music and dancing and loves animals. She loves me and her dad but I think she wants to kill me sometimes. That bedtime story consist of words or books flying across the room…mostly at me. Mostly because somehow at 35 and having known how to read for at least 30 years doesn’t count because somehow she thinks I read it wrong. So then all hell breaks loose and story time becomes I need a margarita time. She goes from sweet to sassy in the blink of an eye and she is very independent but then wants to be babied. It’s like you have to walk on egg shells around this kid because you never know what is going to detonate her and make her blow. She hits and kicks and her favorite word is…wait for it…..NO! So I made it my mommy mission to try to pick my battles more often but the battles just multiplied with age. Lovely! Some days have a few mishaps and others my day falls apart before I even open my eyes good but I’m sure every age group has its downfall. I’ve discovered from all my mommy friends and my family that every age has it’s benefits and it faults and if I think I have failed my kid, most likely I am doing something right. How I don’t know but I will keep trying to work at being a better mother and hopefully it pays off in the end. I was worse than my daughter according to my mother and I think I turned out okay.

The moral of the story is that kids can be little buttholes and moms need tons of coffee, margaritas, and Jesus! It’s the only way to survive motherhood. If you have more than one child, you better have a good reliable babysitter from time to time. I don’t know how moms of multiples do it. My one kid plus another would send me to an insane asylum in a hot minute. Kudos to all the moms out there who are handling more than one kid because just my one is like a whole classroom full of tiny monsters. Children are a blessing but they are hard work. It’s very important to stay on top of discipline even when you are ready to give up. Rules and boundaries are set for a reason and enforcing them is a full-time job and it is not easy. At the end of the day after all is said and done and those little eyes are sleeping; no more kicking and whining going on; you get to watch them sleep in peaceful bliss and feel such relief and guilt all at the same time. The battle is hard and challenging but at the end of the day the rewarding part outweighs the struggle. Even when the struggles come more than the snuggles.

Any tips are advice from mothers are appreciated! 🙂


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