Wow!! It’s as if it was yesterday I was getting the longest needle ever stuck into my spine and my guts cut open to deliver this beautiful baby girl. Amazing how time flies when you are sleep deprived and over weight with a younger competitively crankier version of yourself running around you all day, every day! I have been dreading and looking forward to this school stuff for a while now. I knew I needed this and she needed this. We drive each other absolutely insane all the time and she needs to be around more children. Averi (my daughter) thinks she is an adult and she is the boss so what better way to show her tiny, pint size ass that is completely false than to throw her into a mix of kids who all think they are the boss? That might help some right?
So, Tuesday was only for little girls only so my daughter was excited to meet some new friends. We pull up to the school and she gets out and looks so nervous but excited and all I can do is drop her off (school rules) and leave. I understand it is best for the kids for us to leave but what about what’s best for mom, damn it?! I held every single tear in until we were out of the parking lot and then I became a sobbing beast! I was awful!! My husband was laughing at me because I was losing my shit in my own true fashion……and if you personally know me, you know how dramatic my mommy shit losing can be lol.
I get home and leave the cartoons on the tv and watch Max and Ruby while picking up her toys and stuff from the morning all while crying like a big baby and praying that Jesus is with my baby at school. The house was quiet and there was no one to scream at for jumping on the bed or for ruining the clothes I just folded. It was awful and peaceful at the same time and I didn’t know if I liked it or if it was some kind of personal hell. I swear I am about as fried as they get when it comes to motherhood. I think I watched the clock all day and counted down the hours till I got to go pick her up. I managed to talk about her without sobbing horribly but I did cry when everyone called to see how she did and see how I did.
I managed through the day and went sit in line to wait for her 30 minutes early. I know! I’m insane!! Anyway, when I finally saw her little face it was like magic and it was amazing. She jumped in the car and was shouting for me and her daddy and that she was so glad we came get her and she missed us. I could have lost it but I held it together. She had so much fun and made friends and enjoyed her day and wanted to go back. Mission accomplished! She loves school but hates waking up so early. Who would have thought??
Yesterday was just the boys at school so she was home all day and she actually was acting normal, well behaving herself almost all day. Almost! But it was better, WWWWWAAAAAAYYYYYY better than usual. I’d say school has a positive influence so far with only going a short amount of time. Today it was girls and boys and before school, she said she didn’t want boys in her class because she doesn’t like boys. Well, turns out it wasn’t so bad after all although one boy did aggravate her and she said the boys wouldn’t let her play basketball. Overall, the boys weren’t so bad to her and she is doing amazing. If only she could get her little butt to bed on time and quit trying to stay up so damn late it would be so much better for her.
As of right now, it is 11:19 PM here and she just fell asleep not even an hour ago! I could scream and knock her out!(not really people! get a grip!) She is always hungry and thirsty when it’s time to sleep and always sleepy when it’s time to eat or something. She is ass-backward and bass-ackwards!!! Ugh!!! At the end of the day, I would say school is doing wonders for her attitude and obedience. Maybe we are just missing each other and liking being away from each other since we are always in each other assholes. We finally have a break and we like it but miss each other. I feel lost without her all day but it works wonders on the hubby and me having some much needed alone time. I swear my daughter won’t even let me and her dad have a ten-second conversation these days without throwing a shit fit.
To the world of moms who look forward to sending their children out the door and on their way to school….cheers to you! I want to be you and I am looking forward to the day I can step up into that position and upgrade from this pissant mommy position I’m struggling in now. I miss my kid all the time no matter what and where she is and doing but I think this is the best thing for her considering she doesn’t have many children to interact with on a regular basis other than 1 hour of dance a week. All ten million nieces and nephews live a bit far to drive for everyday play dates and Lord only knows who the hell lives around here for my girl to play with. She is a full time, all day. five days a week, pre-school student! Mommy is just waiting for the time she doesn’t feel lost and will be able to relax while she is at school. It’s going to be a long school year for me. God Bless the mommy’s with new schooler kid’s this year!