Just A Little Itchin’ To Do Some Bitchin’

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Okay y’all…today is Labor Day and I dreaded getting out of the house but unfortunately for me, I had no other choice. I ate the very last pumpkin brownie and I knew I shouldn’t have but all you ladies out there know how it is when “aunt flow” is in town. I ate the damn thing and enjoyed it and I do not regret it. There I said it! I’m a horrible mother…boo hoo!!! Blah Blah! WHATEVER! Like some of you haven’t eaten your kids shit before and enjoyed it.

Anyway, I knew eventually my kid would go looking for it and ask about it. She was being a little brat this morning so I enjoyed telling her I ate it.

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Then she nagged the hell out of me and refused to eat until she could have a brownie. :/ I’m not about going to the store just to satisfy my child’s sweet tooth or to meet her demands. That ain’t the kind of momma I am. No way! I don’t go to the store when I need something much less to make sure YOU eat today by getting you a stupid pumpkin brownie. N-E-G-A-T-I-V-E!!! I did, however, NEED to go to the store, and so she got SOME brownie but not the ones she wanted. “Fresh Market doesn’t have them pumpkin kind girlfriend! Zebra brownie’s it is for YOU!” She was okay with that and really she didn’t have a choice because this momma was NOT going to the next town to get a special shaped brownie. NOPE!!! I ain’t that momma!

Well anyway, here in Louisiana in the town of Morgan City every year on Labor Day weekend, we have The Annual Shrimp and Petroleum Festival. It is held near the Sea Wall, under the bridge and it brings in tons of people from out of town and out of state. They have tons of food, drinks, rides, crafts, live bands, and lots of entertainments for all and much to see and some you damn sure don’t want to see. It’s nice and all but they have all the idiots running loose and the drunks obviously forgot to stay put and practice not drinking and driving. Hell, maybe it has nothing to do with drinking and only idiots who have no clue how to drive this weekend. I’m not sure but it seems to be the weekend for the fools to act out.

It never seems to surprise me at all the people who can not drive these days. Either they are driving too fast, driving too slow, not paying attention to the road, not in their lane, trying to run you over, or just flat out trying to kill themselves and everyone else on the road. It’s a shame that some people even have their drivers license. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not perfect and you might need to watch yourself when you see my Camry on the road. I’m as fried as they come and I admit to my wrong-doings and I’m aware I’m no better than some. But my goodness they have some straight up dumbasses riding around with no common sense or knowledge of driving a vehicle. It amazes me at how they even got accepted to even hold a pair of car keys much less get behind the wheel of a car.

I admit I have road rage like a son of a bitch, but some people deserve to be dragged out of their vehicle and drop kicked a couple dozen times and be given an old fashion ass whooping. The best ones I have seen are the ladies with their cell phone in their hand texting and driving….WITH AN INFANT IN THE BACKSEAT! Like, girl! Seriously!??? You want to risk your sweet babies life for that conversation you having while you been swerving all over the interstate???? Uh uh! No way!!! Get your priorities straight honey because little Suzy, Sally, Bobby or whoever it’s name is needs you to watch the damn road! 

And you have to love all those young kids who think it’s cute to drive a million miles per hour in the smallest neighborhoods with the tiniest children. Like, who you trying to impress shit head? Where you driving off to so fast…the neighbor’s bathroom???? Literally….straight through the damn wall! SLOW DOWN PEOPLE! There is no need for all that nonsense and such going on. If you seriously need to get somewhere that damn fast you wouldn’t waste that much gas just trying to get out your own driveway. There are kids in neighborhoods and people everywhere who might want to survive and live to see another day or year. How fast can you stop a vehicle from hitting a human when you are too busy running your invisible races?

Okay, I think I have talked enough shit for the afternoon about driving and brownies. My husband is cooking because I am bitching on here instead of bitching to him. A win-win, right? Woo-hoo! Taco Monday here at the Guillory house and my daughter is gonna fuss for something else. It’s a never ending battle for this mom. I just realized I was talking about the festival and then drunk people and then driving….now food……

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Welcome to my ADHD life! You get the point! Drive safe and don’t be ass holes! Eat tacos and don’t drink and drive. Eat your kid’s brownies and medicate yourselves. Last but not least HAVE A SAFE AND FUN LABOR DAY!

I’m out!!!!!

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